The Projectors

Dracula: Prince of Darkness (1966)

“Please Hammer, don’t hurt ‘em”. That line is from an M.C. Hammer song. I typed it because every Monday for HALLOWEEN HUMPFEST we are discussing a Hammer Films vampire classic and since that film company is called “Hammer” and then you got the musician “M.C. Hammer”, I just thought that would be an interesting thing to type but it’s not. I’m sorry. It’s grasping. Another thing I wish was grasping are these Vampire vixens at my penis after they’ve been turned. Nothing like the glow-up that vampirism provides courtesy of one of cinema’s saddest ever fuckboys. Christopher Lee returns to the role of Dracula in Terence Fisher’s “DRACULA: PRINCE OF DARKNESS” from 1966. Eight years since Lee last helmed the role and he does so with zero words and with intensely forlorn expressions. Not to be confused with the John Carpenter film “Prince of Darkness” that we discussed last week and is available to hear now. Great tips on how to resurrect vampire lords if you’re ever needing to do so. We could all use a good Klove by our side.
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Prince of Darkness (1987)

HALLOWEEN HUMPFEST ends week 2 on a John Carpenter movie that was unappreciated in its time but has since aged like fine wine. It’s the second in what Carpenter has declared his “apocalypse trilogy”. Yep. Hell and Satan is a little more than what we traditionally know in John Carpenters 1987 horror “Prince of Darkness” starring Donald Pleasance as “Father Loomis”, the twin brother of “Professor Loomis”, and also starring Victor Wong as the scientist who, unwittingly, drags Phd students to their demise. Alice Cooper is in it and the Anti-God loves piss-play. Will Walter ever come out of the closet? Check out this cult classic and then hear us talk about it.
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It’s Alive III: Island of the Alive (1987)

For this second week of HALLOWEEN HUMPFEST we basked in the glory of Larry Cohen’s killer mutant babies and now we close out the trilogy with his 1987 straight-to-video finale to the It’s Alive Cinematic Universe (IACU) with “IT’S ALIVE III: ISLAND OF THE ALIVE”  starring Michael Moriarty and Karen Black. By court order, these mutant babies are the original “Island Boys” (except for the female) and  “They just trying to mate”. But not before so corporate killers  try to hunt them and get shredded. Also, why not send another crew to the island to study these things? Remember when they could tear your face off and run across a city straight out of a uterus? Let’s check them out when they’re five years old! I’m sure everything will be fine. Also featuring stop motion animation, Florida, chill communists and the measles.
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It Lives Again (1978)

For this week’s HALLOWEEN HUMPFEST drops we’re exploring Larry Cohen’s “It’s Alive” trilogy and we continue with the not-so-subtle social commentary as Frank returns and is backed by an organization that wants to keep these killer mutant babies alive and he will do whatever it takes to protect the Scott’s abnormal baby. But there’s a doctor whose wife had one of these babies in Seattle and it killed her so he’s got an agenda to KILL THEM ALL. It probably ate her because it was depressed living in Seattle. You know that hospital bill is gonna be unreal. Yeah, we’re talking the Larry Cohen sequel “It Lives Again” from 1978 starring Frederic Forrest, Kathleen Lloyd, John P. Ryan and John Marley. They say these things will breed at around age six. They fucking hate birthday cake. 
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It’s Alive (1974)

HALLOWEEN HUMPFEST keeps on truckin’ and this week we’re gonna burn through Larry Cohen’s cult classic “It’s Alive” trilogy and today we discuss the 1974 murder baby movie that started it all. What caused this killer mutant baby to come into our world? We got some theories and one pharmaceutical corporation wants that thing destroyed just in case. We got a crazed mother and a dad that’s in deep denial but when you gaze into those bulbous eyes and those blood-soaked fangs, how can you resist as a father? Oh, you’re NOT the Dad? Well then it will probably kill you in seconds. What if your kids turn out like this? Think about it and hear us tell of it.
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The Brides of Dracula (1960)

We’re continuing our weekly vintage reviews of some Hammer Horror of the vampiric kind and we miss out on Christopher Lee’s Dracula this week because, well, he died at the the of “Horror of Dracula” but his cult lives on as Peter Cushing’s Van Helsing comes across a strange case of a weird little Baron and his mother who keeps him chained up until a little French hottie sets him free. The Baron Meister is a vampire, of course, and he’s got a couple of hungry baddies our there under his thrall. Terence Fisher directs another in “The Brides of Dracula” from 1960 and Christopher Lee wouldn’t return to his role for another six years. The Baron is a bit of a twerp. I don’t think Dracula would respect his game. Dracula would have never gotten caught in the shadow of a windmill cross. The character of Greta is amazing, though. Peter Cushing stays right even if the movie gets strange. Peter Cushing. More “Cushing” for the pushing, amiright?
 
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Near Dark (1987)

It’s HALLOWEEN HUMPFEST!!! That means it’s a horror drop every weekday all October long and we end our first week with a movie that grew to cult status after a box office bomb in 1987. We’re talking about Kathryn Bigelow’s “Near Dark”, the OTHER 80’s vampire movie that isn’t the first one you think of. Not “Fright Night” either. This Okie kid gets turned by a midnight hottie and has to roll with the dirtiest, most psychopathic Vampires. Their “subtle game” is nonexistent. What’s a country boy to do when he’s been forced to hang with some undead spree killers? May we recommend a blood transfusion? RIP Bill Paxton.
 
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Hellraiser (1987)

Oh what sights we have to show you! HALLOWEEN HUMPFEST is in full effect! A Horror discussion dropping every damn weekday and we cap off our midweek theme of sex, romance and passion with a movie all about psychopathic adoration and the thin line between pleasure and pain. Much of the sequels fall off hard, but Clive Barker’s directorial debut based upon his novel “The Hellhound Heart” stands out as something unique in the horror world. Yeah, we’re talking the disturbing 1987 film “Hellraiser” starring Andrew Robinson, Clare Higgins, Ashley Laurence and Doug Bradley as the cenobite leader that would come to be know as “Pinhead”. Movie goers coined that one. What kind of pleasure/pain passions are you into? If you became a cenobite, what would your theme be? Probably cock torture, knowing you. I’m not judging. I actually think it’s super cool.
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It Follows (2014)

Our first week for HALLOWEEN HUMPFEST (in which we discuss a different horror movie every weekday) is all about getting physical. Sex, Romance, Seduction and all of the consequences. Today’s discussion is a resonating sleeper hit from 2014 directed by David Robert Mitchell in which a young girl finds herself constantly pursued by something after sleeping with a boy. She’s the only one that can see it and it can look like anybody. It’s slow but constant and you don’t want to know what happens if it catches you. We’re talking about one of the best horror movies of the 2010s in David Robert Mitchell’s 2014 film “It Follows” starring Maika Monroe and Keir Gilchrist. It doesn’t matter what part of Detroit you live in. It’s coming for you and you better hook up with somebody quick before it gets you. I would go to the bottom of the ocean and fuck a starfish but thats just me. Maybe a Mermaid or a Giant Squid. Let’s see “It” try to get at one of those things. Check and mate.
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Rabid (1977)

It’s HALLOWEEN HUMPFEST every weekday all month long and we’re just getting started with an early selection from the body freak master himself, David Cronenberg. Marilyn Chambers and her boyfriend wreck their motorcycle in the Canadian countryside but fortunately there’s a plastic surgery facility close by that is willing to do some bold flesh grafting experiments. The result is a Marilyn Chambers sucking everybody off with her armpit. Oh, and she’s spreading some kind of super rabies. Montreal will never be the same. We’re talking about Cronenberg’s 1977 horror “Rabid” and we would be more than happy to contract rabies from the character of “Mindy Kent”. Straight up hottie. Bonafide dime.
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