The Projectors

Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987)

There isn’t much to grab onto out there when you need a good Thanksgiving themed movie. Off the top of my head there’s “Son in Law” with Pauly Shore. “Dutch” with Ed O’Neil. We got a new Eli Roth “Thanksgiving” slasher. The musical documentary “The Last Waltz” took place on Thanksgiving. “Hannah and Her Sisters” works but we’re not gonna make Angela watch any Woody Allen just yet. There is one that has risen up over the limited pack and it has slowly become one of John Hughes most well regarded movies despite it not having any teenagers making dramatic speeches. We’re breaking the show’s Steve Martin hymen with what might be the most well regarded Thanksgiving themed movie, “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” from 1987. Uptight Neal Pierce and friendly salesman slob Dell Griffith (played by the late, great John Candy)  wind up in each others company when a plane reroutes and lands them in Wichita causing them to scramble to get Neal home by Thanksgiving. I’ll let you guess what kind of vehicles they use on their journey. We got some distinct complaints and some high compliments in this warm holiday fare where Steve Martin does plenty of “fucking”. Chug it down like warm gravy with us.
 
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The Goonies (1985)

November’s theme of COMFORT FOOD has got us chugging nostalgia straight out of the gravy boat. Every Monday this month we’re talking about a formidable movie from our youth and this one hits that sweet spot for both hosts. You’ve probably heard everyone between the ages of 36 and 46 quoting the hell out of this movie. If you’re one of our children then we’ve definitely forced you to watch it at some point. Sloth loves Chunk. We all know this. How will our tired adult eyes and damaged  adult brains take in Richard Donner’s beloved 1985 kids adventure romp? We’re speaking of “THE GOONIES”, of course, and it stars a whole mess of 80s kid actors you’ve come to either love or gawk at. It had that catchy Cyndi Lauper song come out for it. Can the Goonies navigate felons and traps to find the treasure of the original Pirate Goonie known as One Eyed-Willy or will they lose their neighborhood forever? How the hell can an entire neighborhood just foreclose at once? Who does Troy’s dad work for to have this much power to get away with doing such things? We got some theories on that. The story is kind of strange but the adventure still feels fun. Hear us tell it. 
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Riding the Bus with My Sister (2005)

Admittedly, we’re in a strange hole with our film choices this month because we’ve watched some predictably saccharine and inspirational “challenged” movies in which actors play characters with intellectual disabilities. They don’t seem to get better. It’s supposedly COMFORT FOOD all month long and each movie cringes harder than the previous and we’ve reached the absolute valley with the prolifically panned “Riding the Bus with My Sister” directed by Anjelica Huston. Yes, the daughter of John Huston did this. It also stars Andie MacDowell as the workaholic who takes bad photographs and has been ignoring her mentally challenged sister as played by Rosie O’Donnell. Their dad dies and it brings the sisters together and the one challenged sister ends up helping the yuppie, bad photographer, sister “find herself”. It’s based on a true story from a book. Except the dead dad part. They added that in for spice. Also, “The Police” drummer, Stewart Copeland, did the music for this movie if you just want to throw in more random collaboration onto this thing. There’s always some strange hubris with these types of dramas but who is this story ultimately benefitting in reality? We can’t quite divorce ourselves from several questions regarding the truth and intent of the overall story of Rachel and Beth Simon. There should have been more dirt eating at the very least.
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The Other Sister (1999)

The cinema of the mentally challenged as played by actors who are not mentally challenged is part of our family/inspirational selections for November’s theme of COMFORT FOOD. Maybe it’s 1999 and you met your mother for lunch at the Olive Garden by the mall and you decided to go see a movie and your mother sees that there’s a new Garry Marshall movie with Juliette Lewis and Giovanni Ribisi in it called “The Other Sister” and they play special needs children of Bohemian Grove candidates. It’s not what you would have picked but there’s no way your mother was going to watch any of the other movies that were playing like “Eyes Wide Shut” or “Existenz”. “The Green Mile” was ok, but when you talked her into seeing “The Virgin Suicides” she just thought it was kind of weird. She really related to Diane Keaton’s character and loved her hats. She made note that Tom Skerritt could park his shoes under her bed anytime. After the movie, the first thing she said was “I’m glad you’re not retarded”. You’ve been No Contact with her since Covid.
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

It’s COMFORT FOOD selections all month long and we’re getting nostalgic on Mondays so it’s Bob’s turn and he picked a movie that he was so unbelievably excited for as a child that we can say with all honesty that, for the rest of his life, he was probably never as excited for anything as we was excited for the feature film debut of “TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES” back in 1990. Directed by Steve Barron and some fantastic animatronic and puppet effects by Jim Henson’s Creature Workshop. It’s hard to imagine that studios were so resistant to turning this property into film but, of course, it was a tremendous hit. It’s still a sight to behold even if it’s even cornier than you might remember. Plus you got a rat (pre-mutated by goop) practicing martial arts in a bird cage. And that Foot Clan lair??? No wonder New York was so gripped in this crime wave. The criminals got to skateboard all day and smoke cigars. What more do you need to inspire a life of crime? I’ll take the whippings from the Japanese men for unlimited arcade plays. I don’t care. They can whip me anytime. Cowabunga.
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I Am Sam (2001)

We keep it family style for November’s theme of COMFORT FOOD and what better way to keep it clean than watching movies where actors play mentally challenged characters? Unlike “Radio” and “Bill” this next choice is not based on a true story so all of this was as intentional as could possibly be. These movies are saccharine by nature but they might have to amputate your feet after this one. They really thought they had a special award winner on their hands with the very blue (literally) “I Am Sam” directed by Jessie Nelson in 2001 and starring Sean Penn as “Sam” a man who with the mental capacity of a seven year old who raw dogs an adorable baby girl (played by Dakota Fanning) into this world. How does he get to have an apartment that nice in San Francisco as a single father working at Starbucks? This movie is pretty much an ad for Starbucks but even Starbucks, in it’s product placement, can’t pretend to pay a mentally disabled single father a living wage. Also starring Michelle Pfeiffer as an angry lawyer who learns a thing or two from this simple father and they might have fucked in some cut scene in this movie. We’re fairly certain. Does Sam get to keep custody of his daughter? Well, you’ll have to sit though many “choices” to find out OR you can hear us tell it.
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Bill (1981)

Open up your gullets because it’s time for some more mentally challenged COMFORT FOOD just as it should be for a November and it’s finally time to break the seal on a Made for TV movie. The true story of Bill Sackter is a brutal one about a boy, maybe a little slower than the other kids, being thrown away in an institution when he totally could have easily eked out a menial everyday life working at a gas station or a Lowes and having three kids with two different women. The first baby momma would be absolutely fucking crazy and one of the kids goes to prison for attempted murder but the other two get bachelor’s degrees in Theater at the nearest state school so it all balances out. We elect people dumber than the real Bill Sackter but Mickey Rooney’s portrayal may linger between “gump” and “totally drunk”. I’m happy to report that Mickey Rooney’s portrait as Bill Sackyer in Anthony Page’s 1981 made-for-tv movie “Bill” doesn’t even crack the top 10 cringiest roles in the man’s long career. Barry Morrow (who would later write “Rain Man”) is the man-handler of the Bill story. It’s a sweet story that’s supposed to go through you like warm milk, but are we lactose intolerant? Here’s the actual movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQ6Am18Tf9Q
 
Here is the “Asian American Perspective” thing Bob was discussing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAafI9w7CY8
 
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E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)

November’s theme is COMFORT FOOD and every Monday we go full nostalgic with a film from our childhood and why not start off the nostalgia episodes with a movie that defined a childhood (and child marketing) for an entire generation? Steven Spielberg was already pretty much Hollywood’s golden boy at the time and it was cemented into eternity upon the success of his heartfelt 1982 magnum opus “E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial”. For kids of a certain age, this movie was a cornerstone, and we can’t imagine it not being effective to many generations beyond. A boy befriends an alien with the abilities of telekinesis, healing, parasitic bondage, drying up like old dog poo and love. The rest is history. Join us in this heartfelt discussion where we attempt to not say curse words and fail miserably.
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Radio (2003)

For our MOVIE ROULETTE REVIEWS we draw movie categories from a hat and then select movies from a list pertaining to that category and for today’s review we picked a category called A CHALLENGING PERFORMANCE FOR EVERYBODY which is all about actors portraying people with intellectual disabilities and we fell upon the 2003 film “RADIO” directed by Mike Tollin and starring Cuba Gooding Jr. and Ed Harris. Cuba plays James “Radio” Kennedy, a mentally challenged person who became ingrained into a High School Football program in a small town in South Carolina. James Kennedy is an actual person that passed away in 2019 at the age of 73. Leading roles dried up a little bit for Cuba following this film’s release and we wouldn’t say he did a bad job but this movie will probably give you diabetes and it may be  too easy to predict the next line of dialogue as you watch the saccharine scenes unfold. Our next category selection that we pick at the end of the episode will apply for the rest of the month and what we select is a pleasant surprise that totally works with our November theme of COMFORT FOOD. So sit at the table and let this episode slide down your gullet and find out what that next category is.
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The Sum of All Fears (2002)

We’re finally getting around to our RANDOMLY GENERATED MOVIE REVIEW that we randomly picked after discussing Roman Polanski’s “Oliver Twist” several weeks ago and we’re going full-on DAD BONER THEATER because we’re gonna be cracking open our very first movie in the world of Tom “Fancy” Clancy. Yep. This is the most we’ve encountered of the fictional character known as Jack Ryan and this soft reboot starring Ben Affleck as the third person to ever play this character seems ultra relevant in a new post 9-11 world but, in fact, this movie was completed before that happened. We’re talking about Phil Alden Robinson’s 2003 thriller “THE SUM OF ALL FEARS”. M’man James Cromwell is in this thought, as well as a swaggering Morgan Freeman mic dropping intelligence bombs on the heads of the young folk under his wing. That person is Jack Ryan and HOLY SHIT A NUCLEAR BOMB GOES OFF IN THIS MOVIE. NOBODY TOLD ME! BALTIMOOOOOORRRREEEE!!!! WHERE’S JOHN WATERS!?!? WHO DID THIS??? WHO!?!?!? Stay tuned until the end as we randomly generate our next random movie to review that we will get to. Eventually.
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