The Projectors

The Substance (2024)

EXTREMELY SPOILERY! We’ve arrived upon the eve of Halloween and the penultimate episode of HALLOWEEN HUMPFEST. We previewed every day except today because today was left to Angela to decide which horror movie, made in 2024, was going to be discussed. There were many to choose from but we went to the movies and picked a body horror flick that is getting a lot of buzz right now. If your ear is to the ground then you already know we’re talking about Coralie Fargeat’s newest film “THE SUBSTANCE” and it stars a resurrected Demi Moore, Margaret Qualley & Dennis Quaid. Fargeat’s second feature film is visceral, alluring, relentless, disgusting and overstimulating. Obvious satirical commentary on body image, the scumbaggery of entertainment and fear of aging but where does this hyper tale end up? Would you take THE SUBSTANCE? I would. I’m too curious to not do something like that. Having a super hunky, gay other of myself walking around? He’d probably have a giant TikTok following within a week. He would serve mega cunt until I looked like that dude who drank the wrong goblet at the end of that Indiana Jones movie. Demi is back and Mr. Skin’s servers are gonna crash after this flick hits their radar. You should definitely bring any parents and in-laws with you to see this one. Happy Halloween!
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Christine (1983)

We’ve reached the end of our weekday sub-theme discussions for Halloween Humpfest and we pop back into the 80s to end JOHN CARPENTUESDAY on a high note. It seems like a rather insane idea to adapt this Stephen King story about a killer car. In lesser hands it could be a laughable mess but John Carpenter’s 1980 horror “CHRISTINE” is an excellent example of how he can, more often than not, execute what seems to be a lofty idea onto film. Say a prayer for any shitter that would get between a car and her boyfriend. Arnie was a dripless nerd until he bought a busted looking 1958 Plymouth Fury from a strange man. The car is Christine and after Arnie puts his heart and soul into fixing her up, nothing can keep them apart. Not the cranky garage operator. Not his girlfriend who dresses like an English schoolboy. Not some dirtbag bullies and not his player hating best friend who can’t wait to movie in on his girl. While this movie opens up with the awful George Thoroughgood rendition of “Bad to the Bone”, Christine would never sully her speakers by playing that goofy nonsense. Though, what did Christine do with the poop on her dashboard? Hear us tell the story of a unique horror romance. Harry Dean Stanton appears so you know it’s good. 
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The Wolf Man (1941)

We’re in our final week of Halloween Humpfest and upon our final discussion for Universal Monster Mondays. Werewolves have come up this month already so we might as well go back to one of the celluloid originals from where so much of the modern lore derives. Lycanthrophiles know we’re talking about George Waggner’s 1941 horror classic “THE WOLF MAN” starring Lon Chaney Jr., Claude Rains, Evelyn Ankers & Bela Lugosi. We were expecting more full moons but the blooming wolfsbane will do. You go back to Wales to inherit your father’s business in Castle Astronomy, you meet some antique store babe and it seems to be going well (even though she’s engaged) THEN A GODDAMN WOLF BITES YOU! Of course you beat it to death but then there’s a dead guy where the wolf was and you’ve really been thinking about buttholes and how they smell. You can identify people around you just from the smell of their butt. That’s because you’re WOLF MAN now and you uncontrollably murder people. Congratulations on your horribly tragic life. All that’s left is getting beat to death with your silver cane by your father who is half your size. I think we need some DNA testing there. Larry’s mother must have been huge. Here’s the movie: https://archive.org/details/the-wolf-man-1941_202106
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Pumpkinhead (1988)

We’re heading towards the finish line of this year’s HALLOWEEN HUMPFEST and our final FRIDAY NIGHT FIENDS edition is devoted to one of the lesser known 80’s slashers that did not blow away the box office but has found it’s cult appreciation over the years. Special Effects wiz, Stan Winston, made his directorial debut with the 1988 hillbilly horror “PUMPKINHEAD” starring Lance Henriksen, John D’Aquino and Kerry Remsen. Like any classic slasher, some horned up young adults roll up into someplace where they don’t belong. After the head douche accidentally kills his son with a dirt bike, Ed Harley seeks revenge through a mountain hag who can summon a demon of vengeance. The same one he saw as a child. He’s just got to go dig him up out of the pumpkin patch. Thus is born “Pumpkinhead” (pronounced “Punkinhead”) and this guy likes to play with his food. Will Ed Harley get his revenge quick and clean or does this monster take much more from him than he intended? I mean…it’s the latter. That much should be obvious. Hear us tell of this somewhat forgotten cult slasher.
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The Amityville Horror (1979)

HALLOWEEN HUMPFEST is nearing its last leg and we speak on our final weekday sub-theme episode of TRUE THREAT THURSDAY. These spooky selections are based on “true events” and some garner more skepticism than others and you could say there’s a lot of skepticism in this discussion regarding this 1979 box office hit. It’s based upon the supposedly true accounts of a family haunted by evil spirits in a new home that was the sight of a brutal family murder a year before. Is it truth or just a grimy exploitation? I guess all “based on a true story” movies might have at least a little exploit in them but Stuart Rosenberg’s 1979 adaptation of the Jay Anson book “THE AMITYVILLE HORROR” starring Margot Kidder, James Brolin & Rod Steiger certainly evokes a range of opinions. Phantom Imaginary friends? A hell gate? A dad who might kill his whole family? Well tread tropes at this point but THE AMITYVILLE HORROR’s success, in both book and film, seem to be in it’s timing and place in history. This movie will always have an interesting place in the zeitgeist of hauntings and horror. Yeah, we found a link: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8vfrek
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The Evil of Frankenstein (1964)

Another HALLOWEEN HUMPFEST means another round of Hammer Horror classics in the can in this our final episode of HAMMER HORROR HUMPDAYS. We bounce ahead in the Frankenstein series to a portrayal of the iconic doctor that may be at it’s most confident and charming. The title of the 1964 Freddie Francis film “THE EVIL OF FRANKENSTEIN” may seem a little strange in that the Baron Victor Frankenstein is not even the most evil character in this movie. Peter Cushing plays him more as a rapscallion rogue that doesn’t take much nonsense. The babes likes it when he crashes into their rooms but we all know that it’s his assistant, Hans, who has his heart. Victor returns to his hometown and recalls something of a prequel to his resurrecting days and he finds his long lost creature frozen in a cave. Truly a Hammer Horror revelation. Can the Baron Frankenstein continue his experiments in peace or will con-men, Burgomeisters and Constables get in his way? Let the man cook! So long Hammer Films. See you next year. We found you a link right here: https://archive.org/details/the-evil-of-frankenstein
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In the Mouth of Madness (1994)

It’s another JOHN CARPENTUESDAY for HALLOWEEN HUMPFEST and we’ve been catching up with some Carpenter picks we’ve been long overdue to check out. John Carpenter made high end flicks for over a decade but the 90s are certainly his most divisive period. The guy has made, at least, ten good movies. More than many. Movies like Memoirs of an Invisible Man, Ghosts of Mars or The Ward doesn’t get the lip service of The Thing or Halloween for obvious reasons but of all the 90s Carpenter fare, today’s discussion from 1994 definitely stands out from that period even if it is far from perfect. It’s no small feat to adapt the disturbing psychological nature of an HP Lovecraft story but “IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS” is John Carpenter giving it a shot. Sam Neill plays John Trent, a freelance insurance legend who must find a successful horror author that has gone missing whose books seem to be making the people who read them rather affected. From bleeding from the eyes affected to outright axe murder. John is skeptical. How could you not be when everyone is telling you that you’re a character in a fictional town that only exists in a fictional story? He’ll get to the bottom of this Sutter Cane business or he’ll lose his goddamn mind. The title, as well as the first ten minutes of the movie, will fill you in on what happens. Sutter Cane seemed too chill. You know the actual HP Lovecraft was a wide-eyed batshit mess. Here’s a link to that fun “My Dawg” song: https://www.tiktok.com/@dearsilas/video/7358210716412693791?lang=en
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The Invisible Man (1933)

When you rank the Universal Monsters in order of lethality you’re gonna line up some heavy hitters. Frankenstein seems to be kinda sweet until suddenly you get snapped like a Lemmy Bunny. Dracula and Imhotep definitely have stacked some bodies off screen over their long life spans. Gill-Man only kills when you encroach his lagoon so that’s more “justice” than “murder”. The oft overlooked “Phantom of the Opera” is probably the least lethal. Just get that poor guy some attention and maybe a little sloppy top and he should calm down. None of these guys are more lethal than today’s UNIVERSAL MONSTER MONDAY character. The crazed Invisible Man killed 122 people in the span of a week or so! HE DERAILED A TRAIN FOR THE LAUGHS! Dude is a psychotic spree killer and he’s portrayed by the amazing Claude Rains in James Whale’s ground-breaking 1933 horror “THE INVISIBLE MAN”. Claude Rains introduction to U.S. audiences became legendary as he chewed up the screen while never seeing his face and only hearing his voice. The kids today might say that Claude Rains ATE in this movie. You could say that Claude Rains absolutely SERVED CUNT in this role. These James Whale monster classics don’t miss. Of course we got a link: https://archive.org/details/the-invisible-man-1933_202105
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Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 (1988)

Every Friday is FRIDAY NIGHT FIENDS during HALLOWEEN HUMPFEST and today we’re discussing the follow up to one of our favorite horror movies. Kirsty, Julia, Pinhead and the Lament Configuration are back and hotter than ever and we’re gonna be spending a lot of time down under under the gaze of Leviathan. We’re talking “HELLBOUND: HELLRAISER 2” from 1988 directed by Tony Randel and starring Claire Higgins, Ashley Laurence and Doug Bradley. The sultry Julia returns with the help of a sick doctor and she’s leading souls into hell for her master, LEVIATHAN. Kirsty’s brave ass wants to go and rescue her father and the Cenobites return with grandiose plans of torture. All the gore and eroticism work almost as well as in the original and then the last 30 minutes happen. Why did they go out like that? Still looks demented and cool but does the good outweigh the underwhelming? Hear us tell it. This movie definitely has its fans but boy does word of mouth drop off hard for the franchise after this one. Here’s a link to the movie: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8kbuuc
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Zodiac (2007)

HALLOWEEN HUMPFEST means we stay spooky five days a week all October long and on “TRUE THREAT THURSDAYS” our scares are rooted in reality. For certain movies there is a level of skepticism and exploitation you can’t ignore but today’s discussion involves a film based on one of the most notorious unsolved serial killings in US history. The seemingly unending spiral that is the Zodiac Killer case can feel very lofty but David Fincher manages to adapt Robert Graysmith’s book on the killer in a way that strikes a fantastic line between terror, procedure and anxiety. We’re talking about Fincher’s 2007 true horror “ZODIAC” starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Robert Downey Jr., Mark Ruffalo, Anthony Edwards, Elias Koteas, Philip Baker Hall, Chloe Sevigny and many more. A real ensemble feast so well balanced and compelling that you can hardly tell it’s pushing three hours. Arguably one of the best films based on a true crime that exists with some of the most frightening scenes we will see all month. Can we eat this movies butt any harder? Following the discussion, Bob presents some of his own evidence on who he thinks the Zodiac killer might be and it shocks Angela to the core. Is this case solved right here, right now, on this YouTube/podcast show?
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